09 September 2012

Happy Birthday Dad

I started this blog just over a month after my dad died.  I needed it to focus on the positive in my life as my grief was overwhelming me.  The act of posting almost daily and thinking about what I wanted to post was a much needed distraction.

It became a year of tremendous change and none of it appeared very positive.  I'm looking at the year from the latter half and I'm really grateful that it's almost done. 

Grief surprises me.  I have some really sad days like on my parents anniversary or Father's Day or especially my own birthday.  That was probably the worst day of this year because the loss was so apparent.  But today would have been Dad's 83rd birthday and it's not as difficult as some of the other days.  I just feel a profound amount of gratitude for having had so much love in my life from him. 

There is much I can share about my Dad.  But above all, his love for his family and for his God were seen in every choice that he made. He knew how to laugh and find humor in life.  He loved books and instilled that love in each of his children and grandchildren.

Dad came to every single one of my games and ballet recitals.  I pretty sure he did that for all of his five kids.  He was at every daddy/daughter function and supported me completely.  Once I left home, he wrote me at least weekly and sometimes more until I was 26.  I have all of them still.

When I was 24, Dad wrote me a card right before a major change was happening in my life.  I didn't know what the future would hold and I'm sure I had communicated these doubts to him.   He wrote, "You have such a wonderful life and future ahead of you!! I promise you that you will not have to worry one bit about your future.  Even as you fly home, the vision will open to you and all doubts will just go away.  Doubts will have no part of your life."  I keep this card close to me and am grateful that I still hear my Dad's voice in my head. 

Happy Birthday Dad!

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